- Zoom meeting again?
Don’t resist, relax, everyone already knows you live in the loft overlooking the park.
- Don’t post Monday’s news on IG.
Do you have time on Monday morning to Instagram? I guess you’re kind of slacking then, or…?
- Eat breakfast at home.
Crunching cereal every morning in an open space will definitely not make you popular with your colleagues or your boss.
- How about resurrecting the tie?
Being rejected by everyone else makes it a more powerful weapon than ever. Half windsor, a shade darker colour and a different pattern than the shirt, there’s hardly anyone who doesn’t appreciate it.
- Keys or a card to enter the building or access the photocopier around your neck?
Well, that’s the exact opposite of the resurrected tie…
- Date your colleagues!
But only if they work in a different department, or rather a different building altogether.
- Prepare for WFH at least half an hour in advance.
An unwrapped offspring in tears, a partner in a negligee and a barking unfed and unwalked dog, all live from home, you really don’t want that.
- Don’t worry about it, be yourself, take the parental leave even if you’re the dad.
You will always regret not having the courage to ask your boss; but you will never regret being the one to take care of your newborn.
- Don’t hoard the news.
You may not be in a hurry, but by reaching out to everyone as soon as you can, you show your empathy and respect. Honestly what other advantage do you have in a world of artificial intelligence that is cruelly nipping at our heels and can handle anything at any time.
- Everyone will see through you being out of the office.
You’re busy catching bronze on a business trip in the Caribbean or running around the shops in Milan looking for the latest cool fashion pieces? Still, don’t let your emails go unanswered. Everyone knows you’re out of touch, which is why if you give them a few minutes, they’ll immediately understand how important they are to you.
- Go out again for a business breakfast, lunch or an evening party
We’ve had enough of Zoom, Teams, Whatsapp and all those mindless, disembodied video conferences. Making people feel good about themselves will probably raise your social and corporate status the most. We do business with companies and not with people, as the economic handbooks say, but why not move a little closer to Asian or Latin American cultures where it is exactly the opposite? It will certainly do you and business good.
- Have fun, but …
For example, go to karaoke with your Japanese colleagues and sing into the morning, but the next day, be in your office. The endless excuses about migraines, family obligations, doctor’s appointments, etc. will get through to everyone anyway.
- More smiles, less touching
Always smile, say hello, remember other people’s names, just prefer not to hug or touch anyone too much. I mean at work of course, otherwise there are never enough touches or hugs.
- Think like Jerry Maguire and act like Thomas Cromwell.
- Don’t be like last decade.
If your team does a great job, who cares when and where they do it?
- Sportswear is perfectly acceptable in the office!
Well, maybe if your office is on a 400 meter track, otherwise forget it. Opt for a grey, brown or blue suit until 6pm, after that just black or very dark blue, that is if the suit belongs to your position.
- Don’t be curious, forget the gossip.
Sometimes it’s better not to know. Gossip and gossip will only weigh on your mind, what do you get out of it, better avoid getting involved in it.
- Don’t lose your sense of humour, just watch out for jokes if you work in international teams.
The British use humour as a weapon to express disagreement, to weaken the other side’s arguments and also to downplay a point of contention. You’d better not joke with the Germans, and when a Japanese starts laughing it indicates trouble rather than a positive attitude.
- Listen, build relationships.
More and more jobs are being gobbled up by artificial intelligence, smart machines, robots and drones, so if companies are going to hire employees they will prefer those with high social intelligence, empathetic, generous, with good judgment and a sense of humor, according to experts.
- Finally, let’s toast to success at work, to enjoying life, or to good friends. Remember that the host is always the first to propose a toast, followed by the guest. Here’s a tip for two versatile ones, so you can score at your next company party:
A toast to good friends by philosopher Piet Hein:
If you want to enjoy life for an hour, get drunk.
If you want to enjoy life for a day, go play golf.
If you want to enjoy life for a month, get married.
If you want to enjoy life for a year, then you must inherit at least a million dollars.
But if you want to enjoy life for a lifetime, have good friends
How to enjoy life:
Live while you have your life ahead of you. Love while you have love to give.