A new year brings new possibilities, new encounters and goes hand in hand with the 16th most used non-verbal signal out of 450, by which we demonstrate confidence, and that is a proper handshake.
Did you know that, based on research by emeritus psychology professor Albert Mehrabian, we create our first impression of a person we meet in 30 seconds from the following three indicators:
- 55 % based on what the person is wearing,
- 38 % based on how that person presents themselves – body language, tone of voice,
- 7 % based on what they say?
It’s clear from these facts that shaking hands, as one of the primary manifestations of body language, plays a key role in our success in life.
We hold out our hand almost every day, after all, usually several times. We greet friends, acquaintances, colleagues at work, our guests and business partners. So, it is certainly worth knowing how to go about it. This blog will clarify questions like who holds out their hand first, how long and how many times to shake, the best expression to have while doing so, and more.
Who holds out his/her hand first?
Keep in mind that every meeting and business or social introduction begins and ends with a handshake. The first one to offer a hand should be the person who has priority in terms of social hierarchy.
If there is no big age difference between persons of the same sex, it does not matter who offers their hand first. If two couples meet, the ladies are the first to shake hands, then both ladies shake the hand of the gentlemen, and finally the gentlemen shake hands. Remember that it is not the other person’s duty to return the offer of a handshake, it is his/her choice. Especially for women, it is solely up to them whether they offer a man their hand or prefer to maintain a certain distance.
How to do it
The first person to offer to shake hands has the advantage – they are showing that they have control of the situation and are taking the initiative. A lady who reaches out first, avoids any kind of hesitation. When shaking hands, look into each other’s eyes, smile, and say, for example: “It’s very nice to meet you, Mrs. New.” The grip should last about 2-5 seconds. Be aware of what your left hand is doing at the same time. Ideally, it should be relaxed, not clenched and definitely never hidden in your pocket. The dominant person shakes his hand palm down, a friendly person of equal status shakes their hand so that his palm is in a vertical position. The palm of the person willing to obey the will of the other is angled upwards. If you’re holding something in your right hand, put it in the left hand, and if that is not possible, shake with your left hand along with an apology.
What not to do
When shaking hands, we do not press too firmly or, on the contrary, too lightly – in what is a so-called dead fish handshake. A particularly serious offense is to hold the hand of a lady for too long. Europeans and Americans do not bow when shaking hands. Be careful that your hand is not damp from sweat – it is preferred to wipe it in a handkerchief beforehand.
When sharing handshakes with people lined up to give their congratulations, always look into the eyes of the person you are congratulating, never the next person. Do not shake the hands of staff unless you are friends with them, nor offer your hand to anyone who is eating at the moment.
When holding out your hand for someone to shake, do not lift it up to the chest or swing it from side to side. It is not tasteful to shake hands with both hands, although this is not a faux pas among those close to each other.
Shaking hands across the continents
In most European countries, people shake hands even if they know each other well. It’s not unusual to shake hands every time you both meet and when you say goodbye, even several times a day with the same person. In India, the Middle East, and Asia, people hold their hands even after having shaken hands. In Japan, this type of contact is considered rude and replaced by a bow. The depth of the bow indicates the depth of mutual respect. In the UK, the US, Germany, and New Zealand, this gesture is used both for meetings and parting. But if two people know each other well, they can skip this ritual. It is also interesting that the French and the Germans shake at most 1-2 times, the British 3-5 times, while Americans 5-7 times.
So, bon voyage, and let everyone you meet on your travels know that Czechs are aware of what is right and proper.
